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#1 Jack wakes up with a horrible hangover and a throbbing black eye. The first thing he sees is a single rose on the side table and a note from his wife: "Dear, breakfast is made. I've gone shopping to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you!" He stumbles to the kitchen and, sure enough, there's breakfast.

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Husband: I had a terrible row with my wife last night. But she crawled to me on her knees in the end. Friend: Wow, that's really impressive! What did she say?! Husband: "Come out from under that sofa, you coward!" I just read that 4,153,237 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn't that be an even number?

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1. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. 2. Grooms, once you get married remember that when you have a discussion with your future.

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Author's Note. Husband and wife jokes can be a hilarious way to poke fun at the quirks and idiosyncrasies of married life. While some of these jokes may be a little bit stereotypical or exaggerated, they can still be a great way to bond with your partner or to make light of some of the challenges that come with marriage.

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The Best Marriage Jokes: Husband and Wife Jokes RD.COM Jokes Marriage Jokes Marriage Jokes Live on the fun side of marriage with our wife jokes and funny husband jokes. Marriage.

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Husband:"You have perfect eyesight." A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?" He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor!" Wife: "What are you doing?" Husband: Nothing. Wife: "Nothing? You've been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.

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Husband: "Yes, one hour of peace.". Wife: "I feel ignored.". Husband: "Hello ignored, I can finally see who you are.". Well, marriage is not a joke, but it can feel hilarious sometimes. Marriage is about the highs and lows, the sad and the happy. Therefore, it requires a good dose of laughter for marriage to survive.

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Want to have more fun? 🤣 Funny Husband Jokes One Liners Here are some of the best husband jokes one-liners to make your marriage more enjoyable. These jokes aren't meant to belittle the wife or the husband, and we don't believe in gender stereotypes. It's merely an attempt to put a smile on their faces. A man is incomplete until he is married.

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2. It's A Computer, Not A Husband! Wife: Dear, this computer is not working as per my command. Husband: Exactly, darling! It's a computer, not a husband!! 3. Thank God! A husband and wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair, the youngest is short with brown hair.

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1. My wife and I have decided we don't want kids. If you're interested, please contact us immediately to arrange dropping them off. 2. How do you know if your husband is dead? The sex is the same, but you get to use the remote. 3. I asked my wife to let me know next time she has an orgasm. She said she doesn't like to bother me when I'm at work. 4.

HusbandWife Jokes

After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband, "You know, I was a fool when I married you.". And the husband replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love and didn't notice it.". Everyone asks me what the secret to a long, happy marriage is. To that, I reply, "I am still figuring out the secret myself.".

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100 Husband Wife jokes Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right. And the other is a husband! My wife kept insisting I do macrame. Finally I shouted, 'Knot again!' When did you get to know your spouse? Sadly, a week or two after the wedding. It's been raining for days now and my wife seems very depressed by it.

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Flirty husband wife jokes are a great way to initiate laughter and conversations. Let's dive right in to explore some kinky jokes that couples can tell one another. What did the slice of bread hear from the toaster? Oh, I so want you inside me. What does Pinocchio often hear from his lover? She says, "Lie to me! Lie to me!"

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Husband Wife Romantic Jokes These husband-wife love jokes are sure to keep the mood romantic and fun. 1. Wife to husband: "I'm pregnant!" Husband: "You're kidding me!" 2. Nothing says I love you like divorce papers. 3. Wives are people who feel they don't dance enough. 4. Then, at that point, I realized that He's been searching for an expiry date.

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Sleepless in Suburbia. Different rules apply between the hours of 2 and 4 a.m., I find. Things that would ordinarily not even qualify as mildly amusing will often, at 3 a.m., strike the ear as.

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Anyone who claims marriage is simple is delusory. Don't get us wrong: matrimony has advantages. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, a marriage is two individuals coming together and establishing a life who have had different childhoods, tastes, and experiences. It's a reasonable compromise.